1985: John Kulikowski's Wedding

Had a good time at the wedding reception for John and Debbie Kulikowski. Had fun dancing with Alexia, Alissa, and Aleah. Usually, I get bored at weddings, but this wedding was fun.

My Mom was real sad. This was the first wedding she went to without my father. When it got to the slow dancing, she just started to cry and got upset. I don’t remember her crying a whole lot when my father died, as she was trying to be as strong as possible. But, I think she needed to cry and get it out of her system. I felt bad for my mom at the wedding. I didn’t want to leave as I was having fun, but I knew I needed to be with her. She had been so good to me.

October 11, 1985: Dad's Ashes

On October 11, 1985, my friends and I were looking at my dad’s ashes in this urn. I think it freaked my mom out. It was weird to see my dad’s bones and such all made into small pieces. It was sad for me to see those ashes.



My mom knew how my dad loved Lake Michigan so we decided to throw his ashes out into Lake Michigan. We went out at night and walked the Pere Marquette Pier in the dark and spread his ashes at the end of the first stretch of the pier. I remember the two of us crying as it was so hard to do that. Who would have ever imagined that my father would take his life.

Before he died, we were thinking about moving to Florida, as he couldn’t find a good job in Muskegon. Plus, his parents were living down there in the winter months.

Sometime around that night, my mother had this vision, which I truly believe to this day. It wasn’t a dream, but it was God and my father letting her know that she was going to be OK and that she was going to find a job that she truly enjoyed. They also told her not to worry about her daughter, Amy, as I would be successful.     To this day, I always believe in that.  I don’t think it was a dream, but truly God and my father talking to us.

Dad's Last Gift to me - 1985

Played with Kim Daugherty.  Talked to my cousins on the phone.  I had a nice pink fashion coat.  I had 4 Cabbage Patch kids.    Tracy was the doll that my mom gave me. She had blond hair.  Manuela was the little preemie doll that my father got me from the toy story in the old Muskegon Mall.   My Grandpa and Grandma Gonyo gave me the cabbage patch kid named Joe.  Then, my Grandpa and Grandma Thomas got me a cabbage patch doll named Jacob.  

September 1985: First Day of 5th Grade

I started 5th grade at Lincoln Park Elementary school. My school teacher was Mrs. Throne. I really don't remember much about this teacher.  I know this year was a tough year for me after my dad's death and all.   I was more shy.    I was good friends with Kara Filius, Cathy Ayers, Bill Daugherty, Shannon Rynberg, and Angela Balcom.    I started to hate going out for recess during this year.    This was the year I met Joe Bailey, whom I had a crush on.   

August 1985: Gerber Baby Food Company

Mom and I went to the Gerber Baby Food Factory in Fremont.   We took a tram tour around the facility which was pretty neat.    I liked to see how products were made at the factory, before being shipped to the stores.   Then, we went over to Pauline Kimball’s apartment.  She was my Dad’s aunt (Grandma Gonyo’s older sister).

July 1985: Toronto Trip

In July 1985, Grandpa and Grandma Gonyo picked us up at home and drove us over to Lansing, Michigan, so we could catch our train to Toronto. Grandpa brought his dog, Muffins, along for the ride. This was our first big trip without my father. I am sure it was hard on my mother to do all of this by herself, but I know she enjoyed traveling and wanted me to see places. The train trip was real neat. We rode underground for several miles under the water connecting Detroit to Canada.




I remember my Mom and Dad would take me to Cedar Point, Mackinaw Island, and Florida. It is too bad my father couldn’t go on this trip to Toronto with us.


Today, Mom and I went to CN Tower, on a trolley, and on a boat. We had dinner at Benihana’s of Tokyo, which was pretty neat. We sat around a big table where they actually made your meal right on the table. The chef did special tricks while preparing the food.




We went to Casa Lama and to Ontario Place. After that, we went to Eaton’s.


Mom and I took a bus trip over to Niagara Falls. It was a beautiful place. We got to see the Canadian falls, as well as the American side. We took a boat trip to be under the falls which was pretty neat. We had to wear plastic coats over our clothes, as you got wet.
We went to Eatons and to a play called, “Mousetrap”, with Charlene and her friend, Sharon.




We came home from Toronto on the train. Then, we went over to Grand Haven.

July 1985: Bible Camp in Cedar Springs

In July 1985, I left for bible camp with my cousin Kelsey Carpenter. The camp was located in Cedar Springs.

We went to bible camp until July 13th. It was hard for me to be away from home. We used to do fun activities at camp, but I wasn’t much into sports and they had a lot of those activities. Also, I was quite shy so it was hard for me to just chat with everyone. But, I remember enjoying the afternoon when we could go to the canteen and buy candy. Then, we would have nap time in the afternoon which I always enjoyed. Also, we had bible study time which was outside. There would be contests where the leader would name off a book of the bible and the first person to find it, would get a prize.

The other activity I enjoyed were the arts, camp, and crafts.

May 1985: Circles Restaurant

In May 1985, Mom took me to Circles Restaurant (used to be off of Seminole Road near Art Van’s Furniture Store). We had lunch and watched some gals modeling clothes. My 4th grade teacher, Mrs. VanCamp, was modeling some of the clothes.


She used to be my favorite teacher. I remember we were learning our multiplication tables and the students who got an “A” for the week, were able to go out to lunch with the teacher at McDonalds. I was able to go several times. That always made me so happy.

May 4, 1985: My Dad's Funeral

We had my dad’s funeral at Calvin Christian Reformed Church located on Norton Avenue. Many people showed up for his funeral. We had a nice picture of him sitting up front. There was no casket as we had him cremated. Even though this was a sad time for the family, it was good to have my family in town. I tried not to cry as I didn’t want people to see me cry. I sat next to the Gonyo clan. I remember Reverand Meyer asking a question, not meant to be answered, and Joy answered it out loud and it made me laugh.




Then, we had a luncheon over at the building across the parking lot where many people came.

May 1, 1985: A Day to Remember

This is one day I will never forget.  I was over at Patty’s house at 2260 Columbus,  hanging out with Patty and little Matthew.    It was a gorgeous, sunny day outside.   The past couple of days I had been talking with a counselor at school as my dad hadn’t come home.   My mother called over to Patty’s house and asked for me to come home.  I thought nothing of it.    I came home as usual.  I climbed the fence and ran home.    

My mother had me sit down at the kitchen table as she had something important to tell me.    She said that Kenny and Peggy had called and they found his van up north near the cabin in the woods.     I will never forget it when my mom told me that my father had committed suicide.   Actually, he had been missing for the past week, so he actually died on April 24, 1985 (Wednesday).   After she had told me about my father passing away, a lot of people called us on the phone and stopped by the house. 

I remember my friend Nicky Sanchez, who lived over on Columbus Avenue, came by along with her mother.  They took me over to their house and asked if I would like to stay over for the night.    I thought it was nice of them, but I didn’t want to be away from home.    So, they brought me home and then Debbie Zimmer (next door neighbor at the time) came over and had me come to her house. She gave me something to drink and we sat on the living room couch and talked. I wanted to cry so bad, but was afraid to cry. Then, she walked me back home.

Then, I remember my Aunt Charlene and Steve coming in the house and she was crying and gave my mom a hug. I know my mom cried, but I don’t remember her crying a lot. She was trying to be the strong one.

I finally went to bed. I was lying in bed with all of my stuffed animals and could hear all of the commotion in the living room. I heard Reverend Meyer from Calvin Christian Reformed Church come over. Then, I heard my Grandpa and Grandma Gonyo come inside.

They were telling my mom that they had seen where my dad’s truck was and the note that he left my Mom and I inside the truck. As far as I know, they did not see my father's body, but they only saw his van. But, this is what I remember of this day. I know I will never forget it!!

Although my father had passed away the day before, I still didn’t want to sit home. I went to school as usual.  I remember going to class and my 4^th grade teacher, Mrs. VanCamp, talking to me.    I went to the girls bathroom and Sue Counselor and Tamara Talmadge were in there.   They must have known something was wrong with me as they asked me what was wrong.    That is when I broke down crying. So, they went to get the teacher and she came in to comfort me.    Then, she had me go to the school counselor to talk to them as she thought that may help with the grieving process.     When I got back to class, I noticed that the students were quiet.  I think my teacher must have said something to the class about my father passing away.