May 1, 1985: A Day to Remember

This is one day I will never forget.  I was over at Patty’s house at 2260 Columbus,  hanging out with Patty and little Matthew.    It was a gorgeous, sunny day outside.   The past couple of days I had been talking with a counselor at school as my dad hadn’t come home.   My mother called over to Patty’s house and asked for me to come home.  I thought nothing of it.    I came home as usual.  I climbed the fence and ran home.    

My mother had me sit down at the kitchen table as she had something important to tell me.    She said that Kenny and Peggy had called and they found his van up north near the cabin in the woods.     I will never forget it when my mom told me that my father had committed suicide.   Actually, he had been missing for the past week, so he actually died on April 24, 1985 (Wednesday).   After she had told me about my father passing away, a lot of people called us on the phone and stopped by the house. 

I remember my friend Nicky Sanchez, who lived over on Columbus Avenue, came by along with her mother.  They took me over to their house and asked if I would like to stay over for the night.    I thought it was nice of them, but I didn’t want to be away from home.    So, they brought me home and then Debbie Zimmer (next door neighbor at the time) came over and had me come to her house. She gave me something to drink and we sat on the living room couch and talked. I wanted to cry so bad, but was afraid to cry. Then, she walked me back home.

Then, I remember my Aunt Charlene and Steve coming in the house and she was crying and gave my mom a hug. I know my mom cried, but I don’t remember her crying a lot. She was trying to be the strong one.

I finally went to bed. I was lying in bed with all of my stuffed animals and could hear all of the commotion in the living room. I heard Reverend Meyer from Calvin Christian Reformed Church come over. Then, I heard my Grandpa and Grandma Gonyo come inside.

They were telling my mom that they had seen where my dad’s truck was and the note that he left my Mom and I inside the truck. As far as I know, they did not see my father's body, but they only saw his van. But, this is what I remember of this day. I know I will never forget it!!

Although my father had passed away the day before, I still didn’t want to sit home. I went to school as usual.  I remember going to class and my 4^th grade teacher, Mrs. VanCamp, talking to me.    I went to the girls bathroom and Sue Counselor and Tamara Talmadge were in there.   They must have known something was wrong with me as they asked me what was wrong.    That is when I broke down crying. So, they went to get the teacher and she came in to comfort me.    Then, she had me go to the school counselor to talk to them as she thought that may help with the grieving process.     When I got back to class, I noticed that the students were quiet.  I think my teacher must have said something to the class about my father passing away.